Hikikomori

 Honestly? I'd rather not get out of my shell at times. It reminds me that I'm not some Messiah. I'm not the one who turned water into wine. Nor am I some person that brightens the lives of anyone's day. You thought you were some special person just because you did everything you could or you had the chance of doing something in comparison to others. No, you're not special. Burning bridges it is. Why do I have the tendency to just reach out to other people, and make the most of every day, you know? My expectations are beyond sky-high. My longing to bond is deeper than Mariana's Trench. What am I going to do with myself? For starters, I'm not the type of person that works up courage on a daily basis. 

I realize, the more I tune into my emotions, the more I put my heart on my sleeve. Making it easy to hurt, and harder to breathe. Thanks, Adam, for encompassing all my feelings in a single sentence. I hate how I'm rather awkward with social interactions. I don't need anyone. I don't need anything else. How was I able to survive all these years without a constant companion in my life? Everything is fleeting. Every one. Why am I getting so worked up over something so temporary? Sir Calingo must be busy or doesn't really interact with students with no faces. This explains why he didn't reply to my message but was able to reply to Cess and Joy Rish. I don't know. I don't care. 

I'm sorry, me. It's been a decade, and you're still in that same spot.